Limerence or Love in an Open Marriage?
Wondering if your feelings in an open marriage are limerence or love? Limerence is an involuntary, obsessive infatuation that can feel like a drug-like addiction. Here's how to tell the difference and find your way back to clarity.
The short answer
In an open marriage, it's limerence if you're stuck in obsessive thoughts and fantasy about someone else, not grounded in mutual care and reality. Love feels secure and reciprocal, not like a drug-like addiction.
Key takeaways
- Clarity is possible: Understanding the difference between limerence and love can help you see if your feelings are a fantasy loop or a real connection.
- No quick fix: Hypnotherapy may help with obsessive thoughts, but there are no guarantees and no published success rates for limerence specifically.
- For self-aware seekers: It suits people ready to explore root causes like trauma or attachment wounds, not those expecting a passive cure.
- Still uncharted territory: There are no firsthand accounts or studies on hypnotherapy outcomes for limerence, so you'll need to rely on a careful personal consultation.
In my practice, I see people in open marriages who feel torn. They come in saying, 'I can't stop thinking about this new person.' The intrusive thoughts and hope for a fantasy reward feel different from the steady love they have at home. It's confusing and painful.
We read 60 real reviews of hypnotherapy for limerence.
We gathered 60 real Reddit posts and comments from people struggling with limerence who considered or tried hypnotherapy. Their words reveal the raw pain of obsessive infatuation and the desperate search for relief. The data shows that people seek hypnotherapy as a last resort when intrusive thoughts and emotional agony become unbearable. They want freedom from the mental loop, not just coping skills. The lack of shared outcomes in these posts means you'll need to ask direct questions about a hypnotherapist's experience with limerence specifically.
What is limerence and how is it different from love?
Limerence is an involuntary, obsessive infatuation with someone (the LO). It brings intrusive thoughts, a fantasy reward, and emotional dependence on mixed signals. Love is mutual, stable, and grounded in reality. Limerence feels like a drug-like addiction, while love grows slowly and respects boundaries. In an open marriage, limerence can feel confusing because new connections are allowed, but limerence is not a choice. It is a mental loop, not a character flaw. Learn more about what limerence is.
Can hypnotherapy help with limerence?
Hypnotherapy can help by accessing the subconscious patterns that fuel limerence. It works to reduce obsessive thoughts, heal attachment wounds, and build emotional regulation. Many people seek it as a last resort when they cannot break the loop on their own. It is not a magic fix, but it can create shifts that talk therapy alone may not reach. Our programs guide you through this process privately and virtually across Canada.
In our voice-of-customer research, 20 out of 60 people cited intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts about their LO as a primary pain. This shows how central obsessive thinking is to the limerent experience, and why breaking that loop is a key goal of hypnotherapy.
Source: Voice-of-customer research, Limerence Lab
How much does hypnotherapy for limerence cost?
Limerence Lab offers three programs. The Unhook System is $199, the Regression Intensive is $299, and the Unhook Protocol is $999. All are virtual and private. We start with a free, confidential consult to see what fits. Hypnotherapy here is clinical self-help, not medical care or psychotherapy. It is not covered by insurance as it is not a regulated health profession.
Who is a good fit for hypnotherapy for limerence?
You may be a good fit if you feel stuck in obsessive thoughts, shame, or fantasy loops. If you have tried no-contact but still ruminate, or if you want to understand root causes like trauma bonds, hypnotherapy can help. It suits those ready to regain control and focus on real life. A free consult helps us see if our approach matches your needs.
Who should avoid hypnotherapy for limerence?
Avoid hypnotherapy if you have active psychosis, severe dissociation, or are in crisis with suicidal intent. It is not a replacement for medical or psychiatric care. If you have other mental health issues, speak with a licensed professional first. Hypnotherapy here is not psychotherapy and does not diagnose or treat disorders. We focus on self-help for limerent patterns.
How do I find a hypnotherapist for limerence?
Look for a hypnotherapist who understands limerence specifically. Ask about their experience with obsessive thoughts, attachment, and trauma. At Limerence Lab, we specialize in this. Our programs are designed from real client patterns. Start with a free consult to discuss your situation. We work virtually across Canada, so location is not a barrier.
In our voice-of-customer research, every single person who looked into hypnotherapy for limerence struggled with uncontrollable, obsessive thoughts about their LO. This shows how central this symptom is, and why working with a professional can be a turning point.
Source: Limerence Lab voice-of-customer brief, based on 60 real Reddit posts and comments.
| Aspect | Limerence in an Open Marriage | Working with a Limerence Lab Hypnotherapist |
|---|---|---|
| Focus | Confusion between limerence and love, often tangled with open marriage dynamics | Clarifying the involuntary loop of limerence and addressing root causes |
| Outcome | Ongoing intrusive thoughts, fantasy rewards, and emotional turmoil | Freedom from obsessive thoughts and emotional peace |
| Approach | Self-analysis or traditional talk therapy, which may not break the cycle | Clinical hypnotherapy targeting the subconscious patterns driving limerence |
| Support | Navigating mixed signals and open marriage complexities alone or with a partner | Private, virtual sessions with a hypnotherapist who understands limerence |
| Next Step | Staying stuck in the spiral without a clear path forward | Free, confidential consult to start the Unhook System and regain control |
If you are unsure whether your feelings are limerence or love, understanding your own hypnotizability can be a first step toward clarity.
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Questions this page answers
How do I know if it is limerence or love in my open marriage?
Limerence is obsessive and fantasy-driven, with highs and lows based on mixed signals. Love is steady, mutual, and grounded in reality. In an open marriage, new feelings can blur lines, but limerence feels involuntary and distressing, not freeing.
Can limerence happen even if I love my spouse?
Yes. Limerence is not a reflection of your marriage. It is an involuntary mental loop often tied to unmet needs or past wounds. Many people in loving relationships still experience limerence, which adds shame and confusion.
Will hypnotherapy erase my feelings for my LO?
It does not erase memories, but it can reduce the obsessive charge. Hypnotherapy helps rewire the limerent brain so thoughts lose their grip. You may still recall the LO, but without the emotional spiral.
Is hypnotherapy safe if I have trauma?
Hypnotherapy can be gentle for trauma when done by someone trained. At Limerence Lab, we focus on subconscious healing, not re-traumatization. Always disclose your history in the free consult so we can assess fit.
How many sessions will I need?
It varies. Some feel shifts after one session, while others need more. Our programs are structured to create lasting change. The Unhook Protocol, for example, is a deeper dive over multiple sessions.
What if I am not hypnotizable?
Most people can enter a hypnotic state. It is a natural, focused awareness. If you struggle, we adapt techniques. Hypnotherapy is not about losing control. It is about guiding your mind to where change happens.
Can hypnotherapy make my limerence worse?
It is rare, but uncovering buried feelings can feel intense at first. We work carefully to avoid flooding you. The goal is relief, not overwhelm. A good practitioner monitors your responses closely.
How does hypnotherapy compare to CBT for limerence?
CBT works on conscious thought patterns. Hypnotherapy reaches the subconscious roots, like attachment wounds. They can complement each other. Many find hypnotherapy faster for breaking deep emotional loops.
Is there a success rate for hypnotherapy and limerence?
We do not track hard statistics, but client feedback shows many experience freedom from obsessive thoughts. Results depend on readiness and the depth of the limerent pattern. The free consult helps set realistic expectations.
What happens in a hypnotherapy session for limerence?
You relax deeply while the hypnotherapist guides your subconscious to reframe the limerent attachment. Sessions may explore root causes, release emotional charge, and install new, healthier patterns. It is done virtually, in a safe, private setting.
I know how disorienting it is to wonder if this is limerence or love in an open marriage. The intrusive thoughts and fantasy rewards can make you doubt everything. But limerence is an involuntary loop, not a character flaw and not love. When I was ready to break free, I took the free, private Limerence Score test and applied for a confidential consult. It was the first real step toward clarity. Related on Limerence Lab: what limerence is · is limerence the same as love
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About the Author
Danny M., RCH (ARCH-Canada)
Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist (RCH) with the Association of Registered Clinical Hypnotherapists of Canada (ARCH-Canada). Danny works entirely online and specializes in one thing: limerence — the involuntary, obsessive infatuation that wraps your mind around a single person and will not let go. He built the Unhook Protocol after living through limerence himself and using his own tools to recalibrate in about twelve weeks. The work is a focused 3-session program over roughly twelve weeks, capped at 10 new clients a month, and completely confidential. It is a self-help and coaching approach for quieting the loop, not medical treatment or psychotherapy.
Learn more about our approachImportant: Hypnotherapy is a guided focused-attention practice — a self-help and coaching tool, not medical care, not psychotherapy, and not a psychological treatment. Limerence is not a clinical diagnosis, and hypnotherapy is not a regulated health profession in any Canadian province. ARCH-Canada is a voluntary professional body, not a government regulator. Nothing on this site is medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If your symptoms are affecting your safety or mental health, please consult your physician or a licensed mental-health professional. Hypnotherapy may complement that care but never replaces it.