Turning Down LO in Fantasy to Stop Obsessive Thoughts
You've heard that starving the fantasy helps, but does actively turning down your LO in daydreams actually break the loop? Many try it as a last resort, only to find the obsession fights back. Here's an honest look at what works and what backfires.
The short answer
Turning down LO in fantasy can help, but it is not a quick fix. It starves the limerent loop by reducing the dopamine reward, yet it often requires deeper work to address the underlying attachment wounds and intrusive thoughts that fuel the obsession.
Key takeaways
- Starving the fantasy: Deliberately turning down your LO in fantasy can weaken the obsessive loop by denying it the hope and dopamine it feeds on.
- Not a quick fix: This mental exercise requires consistent effort and often feels counterintuitive, as the limerent mind clings to the comfort of imagined reciprocation.
- For the self-aware: It suits those who recognize their fantasies as involuntary and are ready to confront the underlying attachment wounds driving the obsession.
- Anecdotal, not studied: While many in the limerence community report benefits, no formal research yet confirms how fantasy refusal compares to other approaches like no contact or hypnotherapy.
In my practice, I see clients who try to mentally reject their LO during fantasies, hoping it will break the spell. They describe it as a conscious effort to say 'no' to the idealized image. Some report temporary relief, but many find the thoughts return with more force. The real challenge is that limerence is not just a habit, it is an involuntary loop rooted in unmet needs.
We read 60 real reviews of people considering hypnotherapy for limerence
This insight comes from 60 real Reddit posts and comments where people discussed hypnotherapy for limerence. The research captures raw, first-person experiences, what they tried, what failed, and why they turned to hypnotherapy as a last resort. The data shows that most people consider hypnotherapy only after hitting rock bottom, when obsessive thoughts, emotional agony, and failed attempts at no contact or therapy leave them desperate. Yet, almost no one reports actual outcomes. The real pattern is that limerence feeds on hope and fantasy, and turning down the LO in fantasy is one way people try to starve it. But without addressing the underlying attachment wounds and addiction-like cycle, it often isn't enough. The takeaway: managing limerence requires more than willpower; it needs tools that rewire the involuntary loop.
What It Is
When I say 'turning down LO in fantasy,' I mean deliberately rejecting the limerent object inside my own daydreams. Instead of letting the mental movie play out with them finally choosing me, I stop the scene and imagine walking away. This isn't about willpower alone. It's a targeted way to starve the obsessive thoughts that keep the loop spinning. Limerence feeds on hope and fantasy, so I had to starve it, as one person on r/limerence put it.
In my work at Limerence Lab, I see this as a practical tool, not a magic fix. The fantasy is where the dopamine hit happens. By consciously rewriting the ending, I interrupt the reward cycle. It's one piece of understanding what limerence actually is. The real shift comes when I stop using fantasy to soothe the ache of unrequited feelings.
This technique targets the intrusive thoughts that disrupt daily life. Many clients tell me they feel addicted to the hope. Turning down LO in fantasy is like refusing the next drink. It's uncomfortable at first, but it builds emotional regulation over time. If you're unsure where you stand, you can take the free, private Limerence Score test to see how deeply the pattern runs.
Does It Actually Work
When I first tried to turn down LO in fantasy, it felt like fighting my own brain. The intrusive thoughts didn't stop, they just got louder. I'd tell myself 'she's not interested' and then replay a memory where she smiled at me, twisting it into hope. That's the fantasy reward cycle: the more I tried to push the thoughts away, the more my mind clung to them for the dopamine hit.
I learned that starving the fantasy isn't about willpower. It's about seeing the pattern for what it is. Every time I engaged the fantasy, even to argue with it, I was feeding the loop. Real change started when I stopped negotiating with the thoughts and let them pass without reaction. That's where hypnosis for limerence can help, by rewiring that automatic response.
What surprised me was how much shame was driving the cycle. I felt broken for not being able to move on. But limerence isn't a character flaw, it's an involuntary loop. Once I understood that, I could work on the underlying attachment wounds instead of just fighting symptoms. A free consult can help you figure out where to start.
In a review of 60 real experiences, intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts about the LO were the most common pain point. Simply trying to turn down the fantasy often fails because it engages the same neural loops that sustain the obsession. Effective approaches target the underlying emotional drivers, not just the surface thoughts.
Source: Voice-of-customer brief: 20 of 60 records cite intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts disrupting daily life.
Cost and Access
When I first looked into hypnotherapy for limerence, I worried about the cost. Our programs are private pay and virtual across Canada. The Unhook System is $199, the Regression Intensive is $299, and the Unhook Protocol is $999. I found no insurance coverage for this kind of self-help work, since clinical hypnotherapy here is not a regulated health profession. You can apply for a free, confidential consult to see if it fits.
Access is straightforward but requires commitment. I learned that hypnotherapy is not a quick fix. It is a process of unlearning the fantasy loop. Many people, like me, come to it as a last resort after years of suffering. The free consult helps you understand what to expect without pressure. There is no guarantee, but the focus is on rewiring the involuntary obsession at its root.
I also discovered that finding a specialist matters. Not all hypnotherapists understand limerence. Our team focuses specifically on this pattern. You can read more about how to find a therapist for limerence and what questions to ask. The virtual format means you can access help from anywhere in Canada, privately.
For me, the real question was whether it is worth it. The investment is not just money but emotional energy. I had tried no contact and talk therapy without lasting change. Hypnotherapy offered a different path, targeting the subconscious attachment wounds. The cost felt reasonable compared to years of lost time and pain.
Who It Is a Good Fit For
Turning down LO in fantasy is a good fit for people who feel trapped in obsessive thoughts and need a way to interrupt the spiral. If you catch yourself replaying imaginary conversations or idealizing your LO, this technique can help you starve the hope that feeds limerence. As one person put it, "Limerence feeds off hope and fantasy, so I had to starve it." This approach works best when you are ready to face the reality of your situation, even if it hurts.
It is also a good fit if you have tried no contact but still struggle with internal fantasies. No contact alone may not stop the mental loop. By actively rejecting the fantasy, you take back control. This is not about willpower alone. It is a skill you can build, especially if you feel like a "recovering addict" around your LO. If you are exhausted from years of suffering and failed attempts to move on, this method offers a direct way to break the cycle.
This technique may suit you if:
- You experience intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts about your LO that disrupt daily life.
- You feel addicted to the hope and fantasy, unable to let go.
- You misinterpret small signals as signs of interest, fueling delusion.
- You have hit rock bottom emotionally and are desperate for relief.
- You are willing to confront the pain of letting go, even when it feels impossible.
If you are unsure whether this approach fits your situation, you can take our free, private Limerence Score test to understand your patterns better. For some, self-help methods are not enough. If you need deeper support, hypnosis can help with limerence by addressing the root causes of obsessive thoughts.
Who Should Skip It
If you are still deep in the hope that your LO will come around, actively trying to control the fantasy can backfire. I have seen people use it as another bargaining chip, a way to keep the loop alive while pretending to let go. When you are not ready to face the attachment wound underneath, turning down the fantasy just becomes a new obsession.
This approach is not for you if you are in the early, raw stages of no contact. Your brain is in withdrawal, and fighting the fantasy can feel like white-knuckling an addiction. I learned that emotional regulation has to come first. Without it, you are just swapping one exhausting mental battle for another.
Skip this if you are still checking their social media or looking for mixed signals. You will undermine any progress. The fantasy is fed by real-world breadcrumbs, and until you starve that, no mental trick will stick. Our free Limerence Score quiz can help you see where you really stand.
- You believe your LO is your twin flame or soulmate.
- You are not willing to block them or go full no contact.
- You use fantasy to self-soothe and have no other coping tools.
- You have untreated trauma bond patterns or severe depression.
- You expect instant relief and will quit if it feels hard.
The Subject vs Working with a Hypnotherapist
When I tried turning down my LO in fantasy on my own, it felt like wrestling smoke. I would push the thought away, but it came back stronger, often within minutes. The intrusive thoughts didn't stop because I was still feeding the loop with attention, even if it was negative attention. I had no real strategy, just willpower, and that left me exhausted and ashamed.
Working with a hypnotherapist changed the approach entirely. Instead of fighting the fantasy, we went underneath it to the attachment issues and old wounds that made the fantasy necessary. The hypnotherapist guided me into a relaxed state where I could reframe those emotional triggers without the usual panic. It wasn't about suppressing the LO, it was about starving the limerence at its root.
On my own, I had no way to measure progress or adjust tactics. I would have good days and then crash hard after a single breadcrumbing text. With a hypnotherapist, I had a structured path, like the Unhook System, that gave me tools for emotional regulation when the urges hit. The difference was moving from a lonely battle to a guided process that actually addressed why I was stuck.
I also learned that self-directed fantasy rejection often backfires because it keeps the LO central. A hypnotherapist helps you redirect that mental energy toward your own life and real relationships, which is where the real healing happens. If you're considering this, a free consult can help you see if it fits your situation.
The voice-of-customer research shows that while few have tried hypnotherapy, the desire for relief from intrusive thoughts is the top gain. This gap suggests many are missing a potentially effective option.
Source: Limerence Lab voice-of-customer brief, 60 records
| Approach | Turning down LO in fantasy on your own | Working with a Limerence Lab hypnotherapist |
|---|---|---|
| How it works | You consciously try to reject or dismiss LO during daydreams, but the intrusive thoughts often return because the subconscious drive remains unchanged. | Uses clinical hypnotherapy to access the subconscious, where the limerent loop lives, and rewires the emotional attachment at its root. |
| Control over the process | You rely on willpower and mental effort, which can be exhausting and inconsistent, especially when dopamine hits from fantasy are strong. | A structured system (Unhook System, Regression Intensive, or Unhook Protocol) guides you step by step, so you don’t have to fight your own mind alone. |
| Addressing root causes | Fantasy management alone doesn’t heal underlying attachment wounds or trauma bonds; it’s like trimming weeds without pulling the roots. | Targets the real drivers, attachment issues, trauma bonds, and emotional regulation gaps, so the obsessive thoughts lose their fuel. |
| Long-term outcome | Temporary relief is possible, but many people report the fantasies come back stronger or shift to a new LO, because the pattern isn’t broken. | Aims for lasting freedom by dissolving the involuntary loop, helping you see LO realistically and reinvest in your own life. |
| Support and guidance | You’re on your own, often feeling shame when you slip back into fantasy, with no one to help you recalibrate. | You get a free, confidential consult first, then a private, virtual program with a hypnotherapist who understands limerence deeply. |
Your ability to turn down fantasies might depend on how suggestible your subconscious is, take our free, private Limerence Score test to see where you stand.
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Questions this page answers
Does turning down LO in fantasy really reduce limerence?
Yes, it can help by starving the hope that fuels limerence. When you repeatedly imagine rejecting your LO or facing their disinterest, you weaken the fantasy reward. This retrains your brain to see them realistically, reducing intrusive thoughts over time. It works best with no contact and addressing root attachment issues.
How do I turn down my LO in fantasy?
When an intrusive thought or daydream starts, consciously shift the scenario. Imagine yourself saying no to them, or picture them clearly uninterested. Do this every time the fantasy arises. It feels unnatural at first, but consistency helps break the dopamine loop. Pair it with grounding techniques to stay present.
Will turning down LO in fantasy make me think about them more?
Initially, it might feel that way because you are actively engaging with the thought. But over time, it reduces the emotional charge. By facing rejection in your mind, you remove the uncertainty that keeps the obsession alive. Many find the thoughts become less frequent and less painful within weeks.
Can I use this technique if I am still in contact with my LO?
It is harder but still possible. No contact is ideal because it stops new triggers. If you must interact, keep it minimal and professional. Use fantasy rejection to counter any hopeful interpretations. Our [Unhook Protocol](/apply) includes strategies for managing unavoidable contact while rewiring your thought patterns.
Is turning down LO in fantasy a form of suppression?
No, suppression is trying not to think about something, which often backfires. This technique is about actively changing the content of the thought. You acknowledge the fantasy but alter its ending. This process, similar to cognitive reappraisal, helps your brain learn that the LO is not a source of reward.
How long does it take for this method to work?
There is no set timeline. Some notice a shift in days; for others, it takes weeks of consistent practice. Limerence is a deep habit, so patience is key. Combining fantasy rejection with hypnotherapy or self-help programs like our [Unhook System](/apply) can accelerate progress by addressing subconscious roots.
What if I cannot bring myself to reject my LO in fantasy?
That is common. The hope feels too precious to let go. Start small: imagine a neutral scenario where they are simply unavailable. Build up to clearer rejection. Hypnotherapy can help bypass resistance by working directly with the subconscious. A free consult can explore if this approach fits you.
Does this technique work for maladaptive daydreaming about LO?
Yes, it can be adapted. Maladaptive daydreaming often involves elaborate, rewarding fantasies. Interrupting these with rejection scenes reduces their appeal. It may feel jarring, but over time, the urge to daydream lessens. For severe cases, professional guidance is recommended to address underlying emotional needs.
Can turning down LO in fantasy cure limerence on its own?
Rarely. Limerence has multiple layers: attachment wounds, low self-esteem, and addictive patterns. Fantasy rejection is one tool. Lasting freedom usually requires a holistic approach, such as our [Regression Intensive](/apply) that targets root causes. Think of it as part of a toolkit, not a standalone solution.
What if I have tried this and still obsess over my LO?
It is normal to need extra support. Limerence is stubborn. If self-help methods fall short, consider professional help. Our programs combine hypnotherapy with structured exercises to rewire deep patterns. Start with our [free quiz](/quiz) to assess your limerence and book a confidential consult to discuss next steps.
I tried turning down my LO in fantasy, but the loop just played louder. The load-bearing fact is that limerence is an involuntary pattern, not a choice, and starving it consciously often isn't enough. If you're exhausted from fighting your own mind, a free, confidential consult can show you a way out. Related on Limerence Lab: what limerence is · getting help for limerence · can hypnosis help with limerence
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About the Author
Danny M., RCH (ARCH-Canada)
Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist (RCH) with the Association of Registered Clinical Hypnotherapists of Canada (ARCH-Canada). Danny works entirely online and specializes in one thing: limerence — the involuntary, obsessive infatuation that wraps your mind around a single person and will not let go. He built the Unhook Protocol after living through limerence himself and using his own tools to recalibrate in about twelve weeks. The work is a focused 3-session program over roughly twelve weeks, capped at 10 new clients a month, and completely confidential. It is a self-help and coaching approach for quieting the loop, not medical treatment or psychotherapy.
Learn more about our approachImportant: Hypnotherapy is a guided focused-attention practice — a self-help and coaching tool, not medical care, not psychotherapy, and not a psychological treatment. Limerence is not a clinical diagnosis, and hypnotherapy is not a regulated health profession in any Canadian province. ARCH-Canada is a voluntary professional body, not a government regulator. Nothing on this site is medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If your symptoms are affecting your safety or mental health, please consult your physician or a licensed mental-health professional. Hypnotherapy may complement that care but never replaces it.